No he wasn't caught with mistress #71 on the 12th green, Although it is starting to feel like a bidding war ins't it??
"Do I hear Mistress 71?? Mistress 71?? Going Once! Going Twice! Oh you in the back, Mistress 71! Do I hear Mistress 72??"
Instead Tiger, or Eldrick as he's commonly known by only his soon to be enemies if you call him that, crouched into his onlooking stance, reared back, tilted his head, and hocked a massive spit wad to his side.
This was no ordinary spitting moment. This thing had force behind it, as if to send a message. In fact this wad was so large, it tweeted while it was in the air: TIGERLOOGIE: AHHHHHHHHH.... #splat!
After hearing about it, reading about it, and of course, watching it 5,000 times on SportsCenter this morning alone, I've come to one very well thought of response:
WHORE CARES! Whoops... I mean WHO CARES!!
The guy spit on a golf course. Can you honestly tell me you've never spit on a golf course. NEWS FLASH: EVERYBODY SPITS ON THE GOLF COURSE! And if you deny spitting on a course, then I bet you've done something either equal to or worse than just spitting.
Ladies if you don't really want to know what goes on during a round of golf, I'd scroll through these next couple sentences. Otherwise please don't judge us, at least we're amateurs. Imagine what the pros would do if they could.
Golfers are disgusting people. I should know, I'm one of them. It must be something about the game or the surroundings that bring out the worst in some people, and by worst I mean:
1. Swearing
2. Spitting
3. Burping (without an excuse me)
4. Farting
5. Peeing, ya peeing, and not in an out house.
6. Drinking
7. Smoking
8. Cheating (uncounted strokes and relying a ball)
These are only a few examples of what normal golfers do. Can you imagine if a pro did any of these things. Okay maybe they wouldn't be reprimanded for burping and the occasion smothered fart, but they might get a talking to from their mother.
I bet nobody thought spitting was harmful to the game until Eldrick, errr I mean Tiger, did it. And he was fined by the European Tour for it.
My only problem is the Hiroshima proportion that this incident is being blown too. (Too soon for Hiroshima?? No?? Okay then!)
Again my only thought is that he spit, it's done with, and maybe that little patch of green turns to brown crab grass. Get over it.
Plus it's not entirely his fault. Maybe if those mistresses weren't such a bad influence on him, he wouldn't be spitting so much.
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