Are You Down With NYC.. Ya You Know Me

About three weeks ago I received an email that I never expected to get. No it wasn’t spam or pornographic material… because I always expect that stuff. Instead it was a notification from ABC’s hit show Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The show had contacted me, after weeks of applying online, to come to New York City and tryout for the show. I considered this city visit to be a chance of a life time thing. Little did YOU know that I would blog about my entire experience. Enjoy…


10:00AM: Arrived at Albany-Renn Train Station one hour before my train was set to depart for NYC. I grabbed myself an energy bar and Arnold Palmer (Half & Half) and waited for my train.

11:05AM: Sat down on the train (window seat of course), grabbed my Trivial Pursuit Questions & Answers book and started to read page after page after page after page after page.

11:50AM: Train decides to stop so that another train heading in the opposite direction on a different track can pass our train. I really don’t know what to say about this.

2:30PM: After a meaningless stop and reading about 7 board games worth of Trivial Pursuit questions, I finally arrived at Penn Station.

2:32PM: I have seen my first NYC Prostitute. I set the bar at 10 minutes and took the under… dammit.

2:45PM: I tried to not look like a tourist but it was quite hard while I was snapping pictures with my camera every 2 minutes.

3:00PM: I find myself standing at Times Square and can’t believe how many flipping advertisements there are. It was like living in a magazine.

3:05PM: Just been handed 15 different place cards with more advertisements for stores and shows. Now I really feel like a magazine.

3:10-3:45PM: Walked down Broadway and through a tiny part of Central Park. People are really enjoying the sun. Everyone is laying around in bikinis and shorts. Unfortunately, I mean EVERYONE. You know… like girls… and guys. For more visual disturbance, there was a 300lb man in his bikini.

Moving on… you have to share my pain, it’s only fair.

4:00PM: Just passed a four way softball complex. Oh men’s softball. How I love softball. (Batting .775 in 3 games in my league back home. Not to brag, O.K. I’m bragging.)

4:05PM: Stopped off at a bar for a drink before heading to the studio.

4:25PM: Drink was free since the wait staff was upset and bummed because they just found out their bar was closing in a few days. (WIN/WIN for me… LOSE/LOSE for them)

4:45PM: Arrived at the studio right on time only to find about 100 or so people standing in line ready to go inside. (Dammit)

4:50PM: Headed on in through the medal detector and continued to be harassed by the security guard about my metal belt buckle. I’m here to take a test not… you know what, never mind.

5:00PM: Answered 30 of the hardest questions I have ever been asked in my life. Probably answered 10 of them that I knew and guessed on the other 20. Not my finest moment.

5:20PM: Walked out of the studio kind of disappointed but at the same time not really. I did get a free Who Wants to be a Millionaire magnet so… WIN/LOSE.

5:21PM: So I failed at my chance on Millionaire, now time to find the Cash Cab.

5:22PM: There’s a cab, maybe… no.
5:23PM: There’s a cab, how bout that one…no.
5:24PM: There’s a cab, no.
5:25PM: There’s a cab, OMG THAT’S HIM… no wait never mind.
5:26PM: There’s a cab, nope, forget it.
5:27PM: There’s a… Hooters! Well since I’m here.

5:31PM: Feeling two different emotions right now. Sketchy and Lonely. Sketchy because I just asked the waitress for a table for one at Hooters, and lonely because they sat me at a table for four. Oh well, I’ll have the chicken sandwich.

5:32PM: Sports Center continues to talk about where LeBron James will end up next year.

5:40PM: For the sake of this blog, I asked my waitress (Tiffany) who she thought LeBron James should sign with. Her response: “Isn’t that that black guy that plays basketball.” Good thing I KNOW what I’m asking.

6:30PM: Started to make my way back down Broadway and 8th Avenue to Penn Station to wait for my train.

6:31PM: Hailed my first ever taxi. Go me! Asked my taxi driver who he thought LeBron James should sign with. I’m pretty sure he made a up language to answer me with.

6:35PM: Arrived at Penn Station. (Yes, I was unaware that I was 5 blocks away)

6:36PM: Paid the fare and saw my ump-teenth NYC Hooker Lady. Not sure if this one was a he or a she. Again for the sake of this blog, I asked her/him who LeBron James should sign with. Her response: “Oh he’ll be a Knick by August 1st for sure.” Synopsis: 1 out of 1 prostitutes think LeBron will be a Knick.

6:40PM: Saw a group of pigeons cross paths with another group of pigeons. Thought I was watching a pigeon reenactment of West Side Story.

6:41PM: Would really like to know if pigeons are either constantly thinking of techno music beats or continually suffer from epilepsy.

6:45PM: PLANET SMOOTHIE!!!!!

6:45PM: Mango is delicious.

6:50-8:50PM: Wrote this blog.

8:50PM: Boarded my train to Albany.

That was basically my trip in a nut shell or rather a long blog.
Here is now a synopsis/rules I learned on my trip.

1. Didn’t make it on Millionaire but I did get a free refrigerator magnet.

2. Realized that if you walk behind two people holding hand, no one will run into you.

3. Foreign Business men are the perfect people to follow if you can’t find that fast walking couple. These guy’s walk with purpose. No one touched them.

4. PLANET SMOOTHIE IS AWESOME!!!

5. Wear Sunglasses to avoid awkward eye contact with hundreds of thousands of people you don’t know.

6. Intercom systems at Penn Station now say every 10 minutes. “Remember to report any suspicious activity and unattended baggage. See something… Say Something.” Where would we be without T-Shirt Vender guy!