GET IN THE HOLE!

Say it loud, say it proud! Get in the hole! That phrase has the chance of being screamed at the top of someone’s lungs more than 100 times in the next 4 days. That’s because the man, the myth, the legend, the dirt bag, and the answer to the question, ‘What do you call thousands of white men following a single black man?’,  returns to the game of golf for the 2011 season. (Answer: The PGA)

His name… is Eldrick, I mean Tiger!

We’re talking about arguably the greatest golfer to ever set foot on a tee box. He entered the 2010 season on bad terms, coming off a public display of his marital issues. He never seemed to gain control of his game as he went winless in 2010 for the first time in his career.

For now he returns to Torrey Pines where he’s owned the course throughout his tenure. And even with everything that’s happened with Tiger, (the media attention, mistresses, divorce, horrible advertisements, and putter complaining) I still find myself wearing my red shirt and hoping for a victory.

I love Tiger Woods, the golfer. As a person and human being, I’m first admit the decisions he’s made were obviously the wrong ones, but his personal life shouldn’t take away from the way he entertains us. That’s all he is really or any professional athlete. They are performers.

Just because Michael Vick ran an underground dog fight, doesn’t mean I don’t love watching him juke the shorts out of a defenseless line backer. Or what about Mark McGuire? Steroids or not, thinking about that  number 62 homerun clear the fence in a hurry still gives me chills.

Tiger Woods is a marvel by any means. He’s simply a freak of nature, and his personal life shouldn’t take away from his talents. Would you turn down a perfectly carved dining room dinette set if the creator was a level 1 sex offender? Face it people, product is product, no matter who the producer.

The one thing not going in Tiger’s favor is his true followers. Some will hide in the shade, nervous to speak up for their free swinging hero. (See what I did there.) This will be a true test for Eldrick, proving if he really is as good as his stats show or is it all amped up by the crowd that use scream for him on the tee box and ask for his 3 wood head cover… Don’t laugh my brother actually asked a golfer for one of those.

So come these next few days, I know I’ll be cheering for him, because I openly admit that I love watching him play. Of course I see the personal problems he has but those things don’t need to be brought up on the fairway. Sure they’ll be joked about in the galley, but that’s different, those people aren’t playing for titles. I said titles, not… never mind. He use to play for those.

Before this post is filled with That’s what she said jokes, I suggest you put aside your hatred for a disgraceful ex-husband and narcissistic celebrity behind you, because this cocky professional has had a year and off season to regroup, with nothing but a fresh cut fairway in front of him.

That’s what she said.