When will the Madness End??

There are very few words to describe this year’s NCAA Tournament.

Well that’s a lie. It may not be worth 1000 words but this isn’t a picture, it’s the Big Dance BABY!! Here are literally my only words for this tourney.

Upsetting – The tournament this year has definitely reflected the way the season played out. I have never in my young colligate basketball watching life seen as many upsets as I’ve seen this year. The coveted number one seed hasn’t been easy to come by in the past. This year however, it’s changed more times than the manager of the Yankees under the Steinbrenner charade. If you told me that the likes of Syracuse and Kansas State were going to lose to Butler. I would have asked if you were an alumni, because those are the only people that hand Butler going that far.

Inspiring – The final four is taking place at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana, which according to Mapquest is about 7.63 miles away from the 5th seeded Butler’s Campus. I did mention that Butler’s also playing the final four right? What else would make this inspiring? They’re a team that’s showing the world that a school of 4,500 can beat schools were teachers only know students by their ID number. Butler students knew that the final four and championship games were going to be hosted down the street from their dorm rooms, but what they didn’t know is that 15 men trying to rewrite a Hollywood Classic. Of course I’m referring to Hoosiers. There coach is now Gene Hackman and they don’t have a Jimmy Chitwood but they are a small Indiana school with a chance to win the championship that no one believed they could win. It’s literally, mentally, and physically inspiring.

Jaw-Dropping – (its hyphenated) Michigan State buzzer beater. Holy Shit. Nuff said.

Shocking – Two sub words follow this one. Ivy League! Cornell completely taking an entire region by storm. A 12 Seed. Beating the likes of Temple and Wisconsin to advance to the Sweet Sixteen. A 12 seed! Then they even had analyst from every broadcasting station actually convinced that they could win against the soon to be number one draft pick and the rest of the Wildcats! A 12 Seed!! They literally shocked the region for 2 rounds! Unfortunately brawns won in the third round against the, well, the 12 seed.

Unpredictable – This is obvious considering no one can legitimately say they have a perfect bracket. Between ESPN, CBS Sports, Facebook, and every pool I through my hat into, the closest anyone got to perfect was only a perfect region, and that was one person. No one thought Kansas was going to lose before the final four, especially to a 9 seed. If anything, people thought state rival Kansas State was going to surpass them, but they couldn’t even get past Butler. Kansas, Kentucky, Syracuse, and Duke have dominated the playing field for the whole season. A 5 seed like Michigan State has lost to teams unworthy of being able to say they beat team. (Illinois, Texas, North Carolina, Florida) Even West Virginia lost their best player and are in contention to make it to the finals. I’m not even getting started on Butler. (Well, not with this word because I already did it.)

Painful – I’ve never had a bracket that I’ve torn up before the 2nd round. After realizing that I was out of contention with every pool I joined because of upset city, population: me, the games were just too painful to watch. I had to stop following my bracket and just do what I usually do. I voted for the underdog, because their emotion is so pure and surprising when they pull of the unthinkable.

Random – Last year for the first time in NCAA History, all four number one teams advanced to the final four. This year, it could have happened again but instead we almost didn’t see one number one in the final four. With the help of Jordan Scheyer and the 7-1 Center Zoubek from New Jersey, Duke was able to advance to the final four as the sole number one team.

With all the action and surprises that this tournament has had already, it’s basically left me speechless. Well, except for the 7 words listed above of course.

I Feel the Need... The Need For...

This past week I made a trip home to visit the family. My ride was quick and easy, much like Tiger's women.
It wasn't until my ride home that I noticed something odd about the entire trip. Believe what you will, driving on the highway is completely different depending on which state you're driving in.

While driving in Massachusetts the biggest difference I witnessed, is that drivers like to work together. This ranges from the little sports cars to the F150s. (This does not include 18 wheelers... They have a mind of their own.) When it comes to the other vehicles, they like to work together, especially on the Mass Pike. Everyone knows the unwritten rule of driving on I-90. Drive as fast as you want as long as you're going "with" traffic. I know that you know that we all know that a cop with a radar gun isn't and can't pull over everyone, especially when it involves about 13-14 cars going from 75-85 MPH. It's really an art more than just driving on a road. The school of cars each moving in and out of turns, racing down the thruway as one. It's like NASCAR for the highway. Cars even take turns leading the pack, as if passing on a relay baton. It truly is a great site.

Now it's a completely different story once you get into New Yuck. It's almost as if drivers are out to get you. A New York driver will cut you off, slow down in front of you, talk on their cell phone (which is illegal) and forget to use a blinker but then get pissed at you when you honk, all at the same time. There's no team work. Everyone is out for themselves. More tickets happen in New York because instead of 20 people going above the limit, you have 2... much easier to track them down.

Another thing about driving in Mass is that for the most part, there are a lot of exits right after one another. In one instance there's an exit that combines three exits. (Next Right Exits 20-21-22) How efficient is that... It's phenomenal. In New York, every exit is about 20 minutes apart from each other and in some instances, more like 30.

I guess you can't blame New York for the way their residents drive, it's just obvious that officials in Massachusetts understood their people a little more, and realized how much need for speed we mass holes truly have.

1.21 gigawatts... forgetaboutit

It's been a tradition for the last x-amount of years to call my dad twice a year to say one very important thing:

"Maaaaarty!!!! We Did It!"

You see, unlike any other normal human, I've always considered day light savings time to be like traveling through time rather than manually changing time. In this case, I always revert back to the movie "Back to the Future"

As heavy as this might seem, this year was the greatest moment of them all. This is why:

I was driving to work Sunday morning and I was running about 5 minutes late. However this actually helped make this the best day light savings time ever. I had decided to take the highway that morning to get to work faster, little did I know that I'd be messing with the space time continuum in the process.

After paying my 30 cents at the toll plaza, I revved my engine and slowly started to speed away. As the needle began to rise (that's what she said) I noticed that the time on car's clock read 1:59AM. I drove a little faster and truthfully hit about 76 on my speedometer. Just then, the clock turned over and the time read 3:00AM.

I almost shit my pants. I had never been in this position before (that's what she said) where I'd be driving when day light savings time actually took place. This was by far the coolest driving experience I had ever been apart of. Not only did I travel through time, but I apparently did it with an updated flux capacitor because I only had to travel 76MPH. Chrysler manufactures did a good job of hiding the damn thing, because I still can't find it in my car.

Anyway, I was just happy their wasn't a lightning storm at the time... who knows where or when I would have ended up.

Fan-Tastic!!

With the madness that is March grabbing my every little bit of attention, I can't help but think how much I love sports. In my last blog I mentioned the different types of sporting events going on, but now I'd like to focus on the crazed sports fan I am. This is more of a checklist to see if you're as crazy and obsessed with sports as me. If you've got any others that you're actually guilty of, please don't hesitate to comment below.
From subtle to crazy, here is my top ten:

10. You're alarm clock ring tone is Al Michael's "Miracle Call" Every morning starts off amazing!


9. You and your coworkers are addicted to espn.com/fantasy so much, your employer blocked the site from the work server.

8. When getting free cable... instead of the free playboy channel you ask for the NFL network. 

7. Team Hat for every part of the year... A Red Sox hat for St. Patricks Day, Christmas, Spring and Halloween. Working on a blue and white one for Chanukah.

6. You pick your favorite player in a fantasy draft as your first pick even though he's barely the 5th best player on his team let alone in the league. (2005: Kevin Millar)

5. Tattoo of favorite team

4. You DVR a baseball game when you attend it just to see if you were no TV. Even though you had seats behind a pole or in the nose bleeds.

3. You mute the television during Wednesday and Sunday night baseball if your team is playing and use your MLB.com Audio Subscription to listen to your hometown radio announcer, even though there's a 30 second delay.

2.You've once owned the starting rotation of your favorite baseball team. 2004 Red Sox:
Bronson Arroyo, Derek Lowe, Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, and Tim Wakefield. (Others from the same year include: Jason Veritek, Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Manny Ramirez, Brian Daubach, and David Ortiz.)


And Number One is.....


1. After 23 years of living minutes from Boston and swearing by the code of Red Sox Nation, you move and now live in the capital of New York.

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

If you're a sports enthusiast like myself... the end of winter is probably your favorite time of year as well.
Not only is the snow likely melting which is a great view in itself, but some of the greatest events to watch on TV are either going on now or soon to be airing.

Right now we're in the middle of the NCAA Conference Tournaments. A tease to the ever so popular March Madness Tourney, where whether you're an avid fan or mother who gets lucky with her picks. (My mom always thinks Kansas is going to win... couple years ago she got lucky... Thanks a lot Mario Chalmers) Anyone can partake in this event and most people usually do. I know some people that aren't sports fans but love the NCAA Tourney. It's the only time everyone watching is put on the equal playing field. Here's a piece of paper, here are the teams, grab a pen and good luck. It's amazing to see the energy of the fans especially when you get a team playing very close to home. I mean North Carolina and The Ohio State played in their respective states last year, granted it worked out better for North Carolina but still. Siena just played a better game against the Buckcrys.

And there's so much to be said about the Women's NCAA Tourney.

We got lucky this year with more athleticism to watch with the Winter Olympics in Canuckville... err I mean Vancouver. The good part is that in 2014 we'll be over loaded with content once again. Get your pass ports ready and grab your M-16s! Scotia, Russia here we come.

Both the NHL and NBA are getting closer and closer to the post season. This means we can finally watch the best teams play every night instead of watching teams like the Knicks and Nets struggle every game. For those of you who are unaware, I'm living in New York now, and I miss watching a productive basketball team play. Side note: The Knicks and Nets have a combined 27 wins as of March 6th. The Celtics at this time have 39 wins... Nuff Said!

Even though football season is over, there's still plenty to talk about. The trading block is making more moves than a Rubik's cube and the Combine just finished up, a prelude to the only draft any man wishes they were a part of.

And of course we can't forget about the course of course. THE MASTERS! Only the biggest golf match of the year, which I always wondered why it was played at the beginning of the season and not towards the end... but I'm not complaining. Nothings beats hitting up a bar the day before the Masters for the Par 3 round and then going to a Sox game afterwards. It's only happened once in my life time but it... was... awesome!

And to just top off the massive sundae that is this next month and a half.... IT'S BASEBALL SEASON!!!
The crack of the bat, the smell of the grass (field grass), the pop of the glove, and the potential cancer from the radar guns and suns. We're now in full swing for spring training and I couldn't be happier. The only thing I got going for me right now is that fact that since I live in New York I get to watch twice as manny, I mean many games this year because my TV picks up Yankees and Mets games. Granted I have no desire to watch those two teams play, I do get to watch the opponents they face, which includes at least 19 Red Sox games against the Yank-These.

We are practically just weeks away from the longest season in sports... 162 significant games... 162+ if you're team actually plays well... like the Red Sox and yankees.

So if you weren't aware of all the sports matches, games, and events that take place in the next month or so, then it's probably best that you sit back, grab a beer, and cheer on your favorite team, player, or upset pick in round one of the coveted 64.

All Aboard the Band Wagon!!!

You see them everywhere, hear them in the crowd, hang out with them at the bar. They don't have an origin or favorite franchise but their the first ones to root for the team that holds the W.

They are... they BANDWAGON JUMPERS!! DA DA DAAAAAAA!

There is nothing more I hate than the bandwagon crowd. They always seem to show up during winning streaks, playoffs, championships, and the offseason (especially if the team they "now" root for has just won."

They come out of the wood work with their hats and sweat shirts from the 1980s.
You've never seen them rooting for a particular team before but as soon as they're on the positive side of the news, poof out like a genie!

The worst part is, it's always the same excuse when you asked them about their fanism.
"Since when are you a _____ fan?"
"I've always been a fan of them."

OH RLY??

Where the heck have you been?? Through the bad, ugly, and painfully disgusting.
Aren't you suppose to have pride in your team?

"Well I don't like to express my favoritism."

Then why now?? Did you have a sports epiphany?
It just erks me the wrong way.

There are only a couple times where it's appropriate to just randomly show your fanism, both of which I've experienced.

Whether it's a friendly rivalry with a friend or family member. I recently became a Michigan University fan because my ex-roommate is a huge The Ohio State fan. Not only does it make it O.K. because it was a rivalry but Michigan wasn't even good when I started liking them. They've gotten killed in every sport since then. Wolverine fans should beg me to flip flop to the Buckeye side to save their team from salvation.

The other excuse to love a new team is when you move to a new area where the surrounding population shares the same liking of a certain team. I recently moved to Albany, New York and many people in the area and at work are huge Syracuse fans and Siena fans.

I've always loved watching Syracuse play in any collegiate sport and Siena beat Ohio State last year during the NCAA Tournament.

The thing about me is that I'm the first to admit that I love all sports. I'm a person who will jokingly make it seem as if my teams the only one that matters but I truly analyze and understand every fans point of view. Now I'm not about to start rooting for the Yankees in the Post Season (if they ever get back there again) but I will take the good with the bad. Even though I'm not a Yankee fan, it still doesn't mean I would cheer for them. I'm trailing... sorry.

Back to those stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herders!

I can't count how many Giants Fans I met after the Superbowl a few years ago. They came in waves, as Arnold has once said, "they were coming (from) everywhere"
It wasn't irritating because my team lost, it was irritating because these so-called fans were all of a sudden die-hards.

If you're going to be a fan, be a fan... because if you're not a fan... you're a heater... just blowing hot air all the time.

The World's Gone (Dough)Nuts!

The other day as I got ready for work, I started to crave a coffee roll for breakfast. So I decided to stop by Dunkin Donuts on my way to work. Little did I know it's more difficult to get a coffee roll at 3 AM then it is to make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

My first stop was the Dunkin Donuts half way between my house and work. I pull up to the drive-thru and asked for a coffee roll. They told me they didn't have any. That was fine because I knew there was another Dunkins closer to my work. So I ordered my ice coffee and continued on my way to work.

I figured I'd stop by Price Chopper and Hannafords to see if they had any before I stopped at Dunkins. Price Chopper had been cleaned out with not even left over doughnuts in bags. Hannafords was also roll-less but was entertaining. The maintenance guy was power washing the welcome mats (still figuring that out) and every shopping cart imaginable was scattered throughout the parking lot. This made leaving the shopping plaza harder then escaping the Temple of Doom.

I proceeded to my last stop, the Dunkins around the corner from work. I pulled up to the drive-thru already anticipating that they wouldn't have coffee rolls, but what was said to me almost made my brain explode.

"Can I help you?"
"Yea, Can I get a coffee roll please"
"We don't have doughnuts."

(-_-) <-- my reaction

HOW DOES DUNKIN DONUTS NOT HAVE DOUGHNUTS!!!! ITS NOT CALLED DUNKIN BAGELS!!! THEY ARE PROVIDING FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!!! UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE.

This is almost as ridiculous as hijacking air force one. (One more Harrison Ford refernece for good measure.)